How to Rekindle the Romance with your Work

February is here, bringing with it the promise of romance, excitement, passion. For those stuck in stale relationships, however, this time of year acts as a difficult-to-ignore reminder that, if you’re honest with yourself, things could be better. 

Despite magazine articles and advice from happily married friends asserting that all that is really required is a little effort, getting your relationship back on track can seem a gruelling and unattractive prospect. On top of this, you may have found your eyes and your mind wandering, seeking other prospects, all of which seem more attractive than your current situation. 

According to new research by Train4TradeSkills, almost 8 million Britons are not satisfied in their current jobs, so if you’re feeling as though the fire has gone out between you and your work, let me start by assuring you, you’re not alone. So how do you overcome these feelings? As a professional business coach, I can help you to combat the negativity, reignite your spark and restore the fulfilling relationship you once had, using some clear steps.

The Honeymoon Period

Think back to when you first became aware of your current job. Perhaps you met it in your local supermarket, or on the bus or train. What excited you about it? Recall the evocative description from when you read the advert for the position. With the rose tinted glasses of a new business idea or job prospect, everything is exciting and fresh. You can’t wait to get to your desk and spend time together. When you part ways in the evening, you become dizzy thinking about what you could potentially achieve together.

How quickly this romance dies out varies from pairing to pairing, but even seemingly perfect matches can find themselves in a rut. They end up simply putting hours into what seems like an increasingly thankless task.

If this sounds familiar, don’t fret. Help is available and if you want to genuinely want to restore the feelings of excitement and achievement you once had for your work, escaping stagnancy, read on.

The First Step: Identify Your Issues

Whilst the first step toward solving any problem is acknowledging it, identifying where your relationship with work is failing is pivotal. Perhaps your job quickly became demanding, more intense than you were ready for. It could be that you don’t dedicate the quality time to one another as you should. Do you ever do anything fun or different together?

Here is an example of how identifying the issues can resolve them much more quickly. (Names have been changed to protect the lovelorn.)

When Scott started his job as a junior executive, it seemed to be the perfect match. He was energetic, confident, doting. The job itself was challenging without being a chore, a satisfying role to which he was happy to dedicate his time. After a short while, however, Scott’s managers noticed that he seemed significantly less content in the pairing with his job than before.

The Second Step: Seek Professional Help

If you are undergoing this process alone but struggling to succeed, there is no shame in asking for help. Countless couples thank therapy for their enduring relationships, and there are different kinds of counselling and advice available which can help you to reconnect with your work. It could be that you just want to refresh your relationship, or you may realise than an overhaul is what is necessary.

Scott’s managers decided to bring in a coach from Notion, who discovered on a one-to-one basis that Scott’s confidence had been knocked, that he felt his efforts had gone unrecognised and that his relationship with work had not developed as originally planned. This had left him feeling significantly demoralised.

Notion offer a whole range of such coaching programmes, enabling you to re-dedicate yourself and fall back in love with work all over again. Free consultations are available if you are keen to assess what kind of coaching might benefit you and by working with professionals, it’s often possible to take your relationship to the next level, progressing more than you thought possible. For Scott, it was straightforward one-to-one discussions with a coach which set him on the path to happiness once more.

The Third Step: Rekindle the Romance

Once you have worked out what your issues are, independently or with the assistance of a professional coach, the next step is to tackle them effectively. Take Scott. By working with us to identify the problems he was experiencing with his junior executive role, he was then able to work out what he would need to do to become a start performer once again including to learn to communicate better with senior staff, so as to elicit support for his desired fast promotion through the business.

Remember that nobody really knows what goes on in a relationship except the couple, so if you need the action of an outside party to help you restore your job satisfaction, it’s vital to communicate. Once Scott’s managers were aware of the problems, his managers were able to act, helping Scott to regain his confidence, and ultimately take his relationship to a whole new level as a Board Member.

The Fourth Step: Maintaining the Momentum

Once you have rekindled your romance, the feeling is fantastic and fresh and all too easy to take for granted. After you have worked hard to regain the harmony you once had with your work, you should be vigilant in not letting things slip back to how they were before. Why, after all, would you want to return to being unhappy and unsatisfied when you know precisely how to ensure that each moment spent together is rewarding?

Some couples who have saved their marriages with an intensive course of coaching continue to visit every now and again for a refresh, to be certain that they never let their relationship deteriorate so badly again. Other couples find it motivating to focus on progress instead of simply maintaining the previous level of success. Different approaches work for different people, so call us to see what we can do to help you see your business ball-and-chain in a better light again.

Happy Valentine’s day, and good luck in rekindling your romance with work!

Kind regards

Laura Ashley-Timms - Director of Coaching